ten things i learned from alexa chung.
1.
boys dress cool...
"this is for the girls who dress like awkward boys."
"i either want to look like an excellently boy or a kitten from the 1960s."
on annie hall- "i love the seventies dork glasses, the striped men's shirts,
the great tweed jackets and frilly victorian tops she mixes together. it was
the first time i recognized that sexuality didn't have to be expressed through
thigh-high skirts and tight tops."
but they also suck and break your heart.
"boys say they don't mind how you get your hair done. but then they leave
you for someone with really great standard girl hair and the next thing you
know you're alone with a masculine crop crying into your granola."
"i have googled 'how long does heartbreak last?' the result more popular than
that was 'how long does heartburn last?' this implies people suffer from
heartburn more than they do heartache which is a good thing because
heartbreak sucks way fucking more than acid reflux ever could."
2.
jane birkin is probably the coolest woman to ever walk the earth.
discovering jane birkin has been a pivotal point in my nineteen years
on earth, and i owe it all to miss chung.
"at sixty-five she stood on the stage shoeless, in a tuxedo, with her messy
hair, and her mastering of the french language. she reminded me that you
can dress tough without compromising your femininity. thank you, jane
birkin, for providing me with infinite outfit ideas and the confidence to dress
like a boy but act like a girl."
3.
my minimal knowledge of makeup.
stick to cream and liquid makeup products- not powders.
"a dot of cream blush on each cheek blended with my fingertips is the
approach i now take for that slightly flushed but not overly embarrassed look."
"liquid liners in pen form are best for control and staying power. i find the
pot with the wand with the brush on the end of it was probably invented for
the sole purpose of causing pre-leaving-the-house meltdowns. someone
evil designed it."
cat-eye liner is a self-confidence boost.
"it's sexy and classic without seeming too much. apparently cleopatra may
have lined her eyes with kohl liner not just to look rad but also to help
ward off disease."
always moisturize.
"i am obsessed with moisturizing. i am also obsessed with cigarettes.
i like to think the two balance each other out."
"i didn't moisturize when i was younger, but when i got to 27 i decided
to star slathering myself in oil, and now i am obsessed with moisturizing."
4.
this.
"not everything happens for a reason. sometimes life just sucks."
5.
the best movies to watch.
to name a few...
une feme est une feme
the addams family
heathers
ladies and gentlemen, the fabulous stains
paris, texas
the royal tenenbaums
lolita
annie hall
6.
kate moss is almost unexplainable.
"…she is the coolest thing ever and nobody can explain why.
it's just a fact."
7.
how to get dressed.
1." …imagine your day and how you'd like to look doing all those
boring tasks/potentially running into an ex or future partner/nemesis."
2. "is the outfit clean?- is it though???"
3. "try and find the things."
4. "put it on, and this is crucial…look in a mirror."
5. "do they clothes fit properly? is there a vpl (visible panty line) problem?
will you be able to scale stairs without flashing someone? is walking going
to be a problem in those shoes? do you look like a wizard or a crazy person or
someone who has done too many mushrooms? if so go back to stage 1."
8.
nails are also an accessory and maybe a food group.
(but don't bite your nails)
"i have started putting nail varnishes in the fridge to keep them
nice now there's nowhere to put the butter."
9.
two very real truths about technology.
"whoever decided that tweets should be 140 characters long is a genius.
who knew you could tell a complete story in just three sentences."
"if you're actually busy, and you're actually happy, you're not thinking about twitter,
instagram, or facebook, are you? you're busy! so if anyone's tweeting that they're
like 'oh i'm having the best time at this party', you know that they're standing in the
corner of a party tweeting." (- something i am terribly guilty of doing.)
and lastly,
10.
despair and heartache are pretty much inevitable, but...
"nobody goes through life without having their heart broken and one
day you'll wake up and it will be okay."
