book report...

"never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them."
lemony snicket

 
  as a kid, i hated to read. hated it. i was the one of the last people in my class to even learn how to read. i couldn't sound out the words, they all just ran together and if it didn't have pictures in it- well forget that book. i even struggled with the basic sounds of phonics. even when i learned how to read, i hated it because i was too shy to read aloud in class. i stumbled over my words. i read the same american girl doll christmas book year after year for book reports and brought decorating magazines to school as my free time reading book. i hated to read words, i only liked to look at pictures. in fourth grade, our teacher made us take home a book for spring break. this was the first time i enjoyed a book besides kit's surprise: a christmas story (for the record, i only liked that book because the back was filled with pictures of clothes and paper dolls). i checked out a book that had both the call of the wild and white fang by jack london in it. i loved those books. reading them wasn't some awful chore, and they didn't even have pictures in them. i found out that reading isn't a prison sentence if you find the books that interest you. even if they're hard to read at first, you'll try your hardest to get through them because it's an accomplishment. ten or so years down the line from that fourth grade spring break assignment, i love to read. reading is like time off from all the things you have to do in a day. its a vacation from work, chores and reading sociology textbooks. i like to read the classics, but not anything written by jane aunsten or a bronte sister- those books are prison sentences. 

  i guess i read "boy books". books that men in their thirties probably read. actually, i know for a fact middle age men read some of the same books that i read. i like dark books, and books that have a sense of hopelessness to them. books where people's live spin out of control. i'm not one for happy endings. i don't like fantasy or fiction, that's just the former history major in me. overall, i like very bleak, depressing, and for lack of a better term, twisted books. i like to read about depravity and the loss of morals. it's not that i condone the character's behaviors, its that i live a pretty boring and terribly consistent life. i like to read and write about people opposite of my own personality (of course you won't ever see what i write). it comforting in a way to read about someone's life that's spiraling out of control more than your own (the same goes with dr. phil. if you ever feel not sane, watch dr. phil and you'll feel a little bit better). books are like therapy and a vacation in a way- but a considerable amount cheaper. reading books on vacation is like the holy grail of therapeutic. if you're looking for some not so pleasant and happy-go-lucky books to read that can either make you feel a great deal better about yourself after reading them or make you feel like alice falling down the rabbit hole of life even more, might i suggest a few of my all-time favorite books and authors. if you tend to be a more upbeat and cheerful person than i, read at your own discretion. here are some of the best authors and books i have ever read. 

the second best day of my life (aka seeing the tower of london and making
my family go on a jack the ripper tour) ended with me getting my most favorite
history book - the worst street in london by fiona rule. impoverished, disgusting
victorian london plus jack the ripper- there's nothing more you could want in a book.
unless you hate history and violence bothers you. 

the maltese falcon by dashiell hammett is the best book (besides kit's surprise. nothing is
better than that) that i've ever read for a book report. well written words about spies,
drama and sex- not the trash you usually read about that stuff. it's a detective book.
this is one of those books
that men would probably like better than women,it seems to be more "boyish". if you do decide
to read the maltese falcon, read up on dashiell hammett afterwards because it definitely
adds to the story and he was slightly crazy. 

these books are my favorite books ever. absolutely ever. a series of unfortunate events
is actually the only book series i've finished. i don't like book series typically. i feel like
they stretch things out for too much and too long. they loose my attention pretty easily. i read these books for the first time at ten and then i read them again when i was
older. i don't think you're ever too old to read a series of unfortunate events. i am however,
still upset about the one movie they made and how they never finished out the series and
that was years ago.

almost every student in the world probably has to read f. scott fitzgerald's
the great gatsby. i think its a shame that kids are forced to read it because there's
no way you can even begin to appreciate it if you have to read it, have to take notes
on it and have to deconstruct some grand theme from it. it's obviously one of my
favorite books, and if i hadn't read it before i had to read it in school, i don't think
i would have enjoyed it at all. the great gatsby is beautifully written and i love the way
fitzgerald writes. even if you had to read it in school, you should go back and reread it
later on in life. 

i may have already said this to describe a series of unfortunate events, but go ask aliceis probably my favorite book that i've ever read. i couldn't stop reading it. i like it because
its plausible and it kinda talks about my favorite things to read about: the sixties, hallucinations,
drugs and disturbed though processes. the title also most likely comes from a jefferson airplane song,
and i kinda like that.   

i don't really like talking about my personal life, and my personal life is
what connected me to this book. if you've read ned vizzini's it's kind of a funny story and
know me on pretty deep and personal level, you might have some sort of idea why i identified with this book so much. but then again, you might not. books are amazing in the way that you can connect with them
and identify with the way the character is feeling. you don't feel so alone even though its a character
in a book, not an actual person. 

my favorite author is william faulkner. i can't pick a favorite faulkner book.
for the most part, they're all wonderful and written so well. i've had teachers
who didn't understand why i liked faulkner so much, but he's my favorite author. my favorite
two faulkner books are the sound and the fury and absalom absalom! . i think they're great
pieces of american literature and they're on the ap literature suggested reading list for a reason. 

my other favorite author is charles bukowski. bukowski was a dirty,
old man and quite like that. most people probably won't like bukowski, and by that i
mean most girls, but if you can turn off the filter in your mind (if you even have one) tales
of ordinary madness and post office are worth a read. 

it is my queen, alexa chung's autobiography essentially.
i've read it about five times. the way it's written is kind of a fragmented
stream of consciousness about books, boys, fashion and life in general.
it's a short and easy read with lovely pictures, drawings and chung's sarcasm and wit. 

if there was an award given to a book for being the cutest thing ever to
be written, i would give it to eleanor and park by rainbow rowell. i typically
hate cute. probably because i lack in cute relationships and life moments.
eleanor and park is the right amount of cute, not a nauseatingly girly love story.
i hate books about love and romance, but the love story between the main
characters in the book didn't leave me feeling depressed and forever alone (although i
forever alone).  

the following are books that i hope to complete before i die, but every time i read

them i want to die. if you ask me, they're pretty overrated. 

before we jump to conclusions as to why i didn't finish lolita by nabokov,
i didn't even get to the nasty parts.i read two chapters and wanted to pull my
eyes out for reasons other than being disturbed. i want to be able to say that i
finished this great book that so many people say is their favorite, but sadly i can't
get over how genuinely awful it is without even making it to the truly awful parts.
it will just sit there and haunt me on my bedside table. 

damn you sal paradise and dean moriarty. i hope you crash your car
in a drug fueled accident and that's how this book ends. i like kerouac,
in fact he's one of my favorite authors, but i hate on the road so much.i got
a bit farther than with lolita, and by that i mean chapter three instead of one
and a half. one giant drug fueled drive across america, and i usually like things
of that nature. but not this book. instead of continuing on with how terrible this
"classic piece of beat literature" is, i'll just say i'm sorry if you ever had to read this book
for school and thank you professor baker for warning me of it's benzedrine fueled awfulness.